


The Stars

by fandom_unnie



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Brotp, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Oneshot, Sope, Trainee Days, Yoonseok - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 20:58:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12350523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_unnie/pseuds/fandom_unnie
Summary: In which Min Yoongi wonders if he will ever debut, and Jung Hoseok holds on to the one steady thing in his life.





	The Stars

**2012 - Min Yoongi's POV**

 

I trudge heavily up the stairs, kicking my sandals off in the entryway and stumbling into the dorm. Everything is dark, and I'm sure everyone else is asleep by now.

I don't bother to stop, even though it’s too dark to see where I'm going in the cluttered living space. If you can even call it that. Our living room also doubles as a dining room, den, study room, and communal closet for everyone in the dorm. Since last month, that's seven of us.

Racks of clothing hang from end to end on both sides of the room, and every inch of available space on the shelves and the floor is packed with odds and ends that don't fit in the bedrooms, or simply have nowhere else to go.

It's a miracle when I make it to the other side without tripping and dying, and I flick on the light as soon as my feet hit the tiled floor of the kitchen.

Breathing heavily, I pull open the fridge and welcome the blast of cold air that greets me, sweat rolling down the back of my neck as I grab a bottle of water. I'm almost blind with thirst as I fumble with the cap, twisting it off and downing the whole thing in a matter of seconds.

Then I'm immediately gasping for air again, leaning against a shelf in the fridge and letting the cold air waft out around me.

It takes several moments for me to completely regain my mind, and when I stand up I grab a second bottle, closing the refrigerator door as quietly as possible. Not that I really need to try at this point, if I was going to wake anyone up I would have done it by now.

Our training has escalated at a break-neck pace ever since it was decided that we would debut as idols. To be honest, I should have expected it. I've already watched more than one of my friends debut ahead of me, heard their stories about what idol trainees really did. But somehow I never expected it to be quite this… intense.

On top of everything that comes with rapping and producing, we now have language classes, acting lessons, dance practice. Three times the work as before, expected from us in the same amount of time.

And it's not like I'm afraid of hard work. All of us would do whatever it takes to achieve this goal, and we do, every day. I’ll do anything to debut. Sometimes that thought even scares me.

I figured the work load would get better with time, that I would be able to adapt to the new schedules, but it just seems to get harder and harder. It turns out I have a long way to go before I'm even passable as a dancer, no matter how hard I practice or how late I push into the night. I still can't get the control over my body that they want from me, I still need to do better.

Namjoon and Hoseok still give me those old familiar looks that say I'm pushing myself too hard, but they don't say anything because they know they're both doing the same thing.

With and exhausted sigh, I uncap my second water and take another long drink. My stomach growls, aroused by the presence of something in my system for the first time in several hours. But I resist the urge to grab a snack.

Our schedule isn't the only thing that has changed lately.

When I was first told about our new diet, I thought it was ridiculous. The list of things we weren't allowed to eat was longer the list of things we were, and from the suggested portions, it sounded a lot more like starving than dieting.

The whole thing seemed pretty over-the-top. It wasn't like any of us were fat. In fact, I almost thought that Hoseok was too thin already. I hadn't planned on paying much attention to all of this dieting nonsense.

Until we started the daily weigh-ins, that is.

Apparently, my definition of “thin” is very different from what is expected of an idol.

All of us failed our first weight test.

Hoseok was more than a little upset, even though he tried to act like it was all fine.

Needless to say, from then on we did everything the company told us to. Avoided meat, ate foods with a higher fiber content to trick our stomachs into thinking they were full, took vitamins to make up for all the nutrients we weren't getting from food anymore. Anything it took to lose the weight.

As if in response to my thoughts, my stomach growls again, and I down the last of my water in an attempt to silence it.

Casting a quick glance around the kitchen, I note the clutter which is almost as bad as the rest of the dorm. Three backpacks sit on the counter, ready for the kids to take to school in a few hours. Seokjin has probably already packed them small lunches, to they won't have to compromise their diets with cafeteria food.

I throw my empty bottle into the recycling bin and flick off the light, leaving the kitchen before my hunger betrays my better judgement.

The sound of Namjoon's snoring pervades the silence of the sleeping dorm, and I decide against bed for now. It's clear that I won't be getting any sleep tonight, between the noise and the gnawing in my stomach, so instead I turn and walk back towards the front door.

This time I'm more careful not to run into anything, and pull on the first pair of shoes my feet touch when I reach the entryway. I’m guessing they're Taehyung's sneakers, but I don't care enough to notice as I close the front door quietly behind me.

Nobody is on the stairs at this hour.

Bighit's floor is near the top of the building, so it only takes a minute to reach the top level, and soon I'm pushing open the heavy steel door to the roof.

It feels like it's been a lifetime since I've been up here, out in the open air with nobody to bother me, and nothing but city lights as far as I can see.

It's been an escape for me ever since we've lived here. I used to come up here to think, or write lyrics, or sometimes just get out of the dorm for a little while to clear my head. But ever since we got the new training schedule, the only thing I’ve managed to do up here is sleep, and sometimes I don't even have time to do that.

“You’re still awake?”

I almost jump when a familiar voice breaks through my thoughts, and I quickly turn around to locate its owner.

“Hoseok?” I peer through the darkness, just making out his slight frame sprawled comfortably over the flat concrete roof, with one arm propped behind his head. “I didn't know anyone else was up here.”

He lifts one hand in what I think is supposed to be a shrug, mumbling quietly in reply. “I couldn’t really sleep. Thought maybe the air would be good.”

I nod, wandering in his direction and enjoying the slight breeze that drifts around me and curls between my fingers. Briefly, I wonder if he's starving too. “What are you doing?” I ask when I get closer. Hoseok's eyes are gazing straight upwards, seemingly fixed on some point in the distance.

“Watching the stars.”

I glance up at the sky, squinting against the dark expanse. Even on a cloudless night like this one, the stars are barely visible thanks to the bright lights of the city, and it takes several moments for me eyes to adjust enough to pick out small pinpoints of starlight.

“Not much to see,” I say, dropping my gaze again and trudging over to Hoseok's relaxed form. With a sigh, I lower myself down beside him and lay back, my exhaustion slowly catching up with me.

It's been weeks since we've been able to spent more than five seconds together outside of training. It suddenly hits me how much I missed it. But I guess that's the bargain we made when we signed on.

Hoseok is quiet for so long that I begin to wonder if he's fallen asleep, but after a while he speaks up again, the softness of his voice making me realize that he's been deep in thought for a while.

“My dad called today. He wanted to know how everything was going. When we're going to debut.”

He doesn't have to say anything else for me to understand. “You couldn’t tell him anything,” I say, stating the obvious.

Hoseok nods. "I said I didn't know. But that I was sure it would be soon..." he bites his lower lip, pulling it thoughtfully through his teeth. "I'm just so tired of telling them the same things over and over."

“I know.” I run my tongue over my lips, staring up into the darkness. I hate the constant limbo we seem to be stuck in, never having a set debut date, or even knowing if we’ll debut at all. Everyone wants answers, but we don't know any more than they do.  
  
At least things are moving forward now. We're getting busier all the time - and I try to tell myself that's a good thing. We're moving closer and closer to the goal, every day we get closer to a debut announcement. But the doubt still finds a way to creep in. How long can this really last? How long will it take before another member leaves? How long will we be able to last, just training in blind faith that something will come of it. What if we're just trading our youth away for nothing?  
  
"I just... Sometimes I wonder if we'll ever really get there," says Hoseok, as if he can read my thoughts.  
  
I turn to look at him, scanning his gentle features for a hint at what he's thinking. All this time, his eyes have not left the sky, and I can't help but feel a slight twinge of fear.

Hoseok was always the one who could see the light at the end of the tunnel, even when everything felt like it was falling apart. He always believed we would get there, somehow. So to hear him like this, sharing the same doubts that weigh down my mind, is admittedly a little scary.

I turn onto my side, tucking my head into the crook of my elbow, and try to think of something to say. Some cliche line that will make him feel better. But nothing I could say would be genuine, and I quickly give up on thinking. Instead, the next thing to pass my lips is a question. “What kept you here, back when the others left?”

To my surprise, he answers without hesitating. “You did.”

I blink. “What?”

For the first time since I've been up here, Hoseok's gaze falls away from the sky, and meets my eyes. “You did,” he repeats. “Last year, if you or Namjoon had left, Bangtan would be over. I remember thinking, ‘what if it's all over in the morning? Maybe I should just go home like my parents want me to’. But then you showed me the music you were working on, and the first words on the track were ‘We are Bangtan Sonyeondan’. You still wanted Bangtan, and I wanted to part of that team.”

I am stunned into silence by the sincerity of his words. I had no idea that that song had made any kind of impact, let alone kept Hoseok in the group.

He smiles a little, apparently amused by my expression. “That surprises you?”

“Well, y-yeah, I mean, you were the one that always kept us going. Whenever I wanted to give up, you told me we could make it. I don't even know if I would be here without that.”

Now it's Hoseok's turn to be surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah,” I laugh, rolling back onto my back and looking up at the sky.

Tiny pinpoints of light twinkle back at me, almost looking brighter than before.

“So… what is it with the stars anyway?”

“Hm?” Hoseok looks up. “Oh, I don't know, it's kind-of dumb.”

“No really, I want to know. Why are they always so important to you?”

Hoseok sighs, adjusting his arm. “I guess… they're like a promise. No matter what happens in my life, or how many things change, they'll still be up there. They’ll be up there tomorrow, just the same as today. I guess it's just nice to have something to hold on to.”

As I gaze up at the dim constellations, I begin to understand what he means. In all the uncertainty and instability of our life, it's nice to have a constant that you can depend on. “I don't think that's dumb at all.”

Distant city noises waft up from the streets below, lulling the rooftop into a comfortable sleepiness.

My eyelids slowly drift shut, Hoseok's gentle warmth right beside me.

“Thank you,” he says before I completely drift off.

“For what?”

“Just… for everything.”

I smile. “You too.”


End file.
